JEALOUSY

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           Many people that are outside of the relationship looking into the relationship make comments such as "She saw the signs, there is always signs", "She should have got out way before it got to this point". However not every relationship has red flags from the very start. Some people polish their selves to be somebody they are not and can hold this image for quite some time. However, in my best friends case looking back she said she saw the steps he was taking into showing her who he really was, but through jealousy, control, and manipulation at the time she was unable to recognize these signs.

          Lets begin with the first signs looking back she recalls : Jealousy. She started noticing that he was showing signs of jealousy but in her mind she felt that a little jealousy was attractive because it showed her how much he loves her. He is being protective of her, and is making sure he doesn't loose her. In the beginning it was just little things such as : he wanted her to stop having male friends that was not family or mutual friends of theirs, out of respect for him he asked her to please not accept random guys friend requests and to not like any of their pictures or posts they put on Facebook. Another request he made was she had to delete and block any guy off her social media and phone that she has ever found interest in talking to or dated at some point. Some people looking at this may already say " Red Flag". However through the eyes of a girl with infatuation, she thought it was cute. Of course she agreed to the following because she wanted to show him that she didn't have interest in any other men but him.

AUDIENCE REFLECTION OF JEALOUSY

          As an audience reading this it is easy to see the jealousy and understand its not as cute and attractive as my best friend believes it is. If you were in her shoes do you think you would notice these signs and take it as a red flag? Have you ever been in her shoes at some point and looking back realized there was red flags but at the time you didn't notice them either? This does not apply to just females, but males as well. The roles can be easily reversed with any gender of the relationship. If you or somebody you know is in an unhealthy and abusive relationship please do not hesitate to contact (1-800-799-7233) which is the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. They also have a website you can visit (https://nccadv.org/). Also please understand that a person does not have to physically cause harm to you to abuse you. There is physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and financial abuse. By clicking on each type brings up a website that will better help you understand the difference.

"what is physical abuse" https://domestic-violence.laws.com/physical-abuse-and-domestic-violence (2017)

Meyer. C,. "LiveAboutDotCom" (Are you a victim of motional abuse) https://www.liveabout.com/are-you-a-victim-of-emotional-abuse-1102421

"identifying mental abuse within domestic relationships" https://domestic-violence.laws.com/mental-abuse-within-domestic-violence (2017)

Theresas fund, INC "When abusers use sexual abuse to control" https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/when-abusers-use-sexual-abuse-to-control
 (2019)

Gordon, S. "how to identify financial abuse in a relationship" https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224 (2019)

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